Recognising Real Friendship: 'The Road to Joseph'
Real Friendship
In my third story, ‘The Road to Joseph’ Shani is a good friend to Chris. As Chris unburdens his heart to her at school she simply listens. She gives him space. She doesn’t talk over him and start telling him about her problems. She listens to the wonderful prophetic dream that Chris has had and supports him in it. She also listens to his frustration because the prophecy hasn’t, as yet, come true. Then, she encourages Chris in his adventure with the Lord when she says, “I believe in your dream”. It is this model of true and wholesome friendship that I am hoping that children will see as something to emulate.
Here's what some children see as a good friendship- enjoy!
False Friendship
Sometimes, your child will come across children who aren’t their real friends at all but are ‘fake’ friends. These children won’t listen to your child like Shani listened to Chris. They won’t celebrate the good things that happen to them (like receiving a prophetic dream, having a birthday or winning a competition). They will leave your child feeling negative or even depressed and will constantly be asking him/ her for favours.
Sometimes, this happens because the other child is simply modelling how their own parents/ guardians behave in relationships. It’s not really their fault. But your child doesn’t need to put up with such negativity. They don’t need to have play dates with such little people. As a mum/dad you need to make sure they are mixing with real friends and also to point out to them who are the false friends: the wolves in sheep’s clothing.
Even as an adult, I found that I had made a couple of friends with people who didn't really like me. We started out as good friends, but then somewhere along the line things changed. In some cases, it took me years to realise what was happening. For example, there was one friend who barely made time to see me during her breaks from work. I knew that as a teacher she needed term time to prepare for lessons etc. so I tried not to see her during those times. But then during the holidays, I realised that if I didn't contact her to meet up she just wouldn't reach out to me. I liked her so much and I made all sorts of excuses to myself about why I had to make all the moves to meet up. But eventually it dawned on me that she actually wasn't that bothered about seeing me at all.
Then there was another friend who made excuses about seeing me too. She would text:" I'm just about to go on holiday and I'll call you when I get back". Strange thing was she would say the same thing over and over again. Eventually, the penny dropped. I think now, that we were both just growing apart and neither of us knew how to handle this. Finally, she made a date to meet up but I said 'no'. There was no point in remaining friends with someone who might see me this one time and then spend the next year telling me she is going on holiday and will contact me on her return. I wish that I had opened up about this to some of my real friends but I didn't want to come over as a 'non- grown-up'. I wanted it to seem that I had all my relationships 'together' and I knew how to navigate life.
Our children have to navigate all their interactions with other human beings on their own. But you can help protect them from false friends by monitoring their mood before and after playing with any friend. You can then show them which friends are real, and which are not. This will give them wisdom for their relationships in the future too.
Here’s some wisdom about fake friends:
